Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
