one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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