There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
