Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
