i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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