Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
