why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
