I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
