How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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