Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Everyone says I win the strip club
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
