She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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