Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
