sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
