the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
