butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
