You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
