If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
