Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize