Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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