With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
