Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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