Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
