somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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