Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
