I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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