i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
