yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
