So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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