He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
