Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You need Xanax blowdarts
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
