There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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