So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
