Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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