y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
