Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
