Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
