Swine flu is the new snow day.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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