Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
