I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
