she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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