sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Randomize
