He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I understand Curling. That high.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
