If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
