Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
