I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
