I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There's always time for handjobs
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
