please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
