oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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