Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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