i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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