so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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