Im at strip club and am horny
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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