You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
