Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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