hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
