I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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