How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
