At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
