He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Fuck me I smell like cheese
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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