I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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